1) THIS WAYNE THIEBAUD PAINTING

Ever been to Columbus, Ohio, in January? The earth is beige and the sky is brain-gray. To get through it, we gotta think sunny. Wayne Thiebaud’s Watermelon Slices (1961) ought to do it:

2) OLD GREY WHISTLE TEST CLIPS

Ever seen the best live music showcase there ever was? Block off an hour or two and tune into the Internet for a session with The Old Grey Whistle Test. Aired by the BBC2 from ’71 to ’88, and hosted by gentle-as-a-summer-breeze Bob Harris, The Old Grey Whistle Test featured act after act sans pomp and circumstance and live audience. The music spoke for itself. Bonus: any time host Bob Harris whispered through an interview. The list of people and bands who performed songs that now are standards of classic pop music is incredible and includes: the Smiths, Elton John, Talking Heads, the Runaways, the Police, the Ramones, David Bowie, (Super Bowl XLIX halftime performer) Billy Joel, the New York Dolls, Tom Petty, the Jam, Blondie, the Cult, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Roxy Music, Curtis Mayfield, Judas Priest, and the Wailers:

3) ROGER EBERT’S ZERO-STAR REVIEWS

Roger Ebert, who died at age 70 in 2013, reviewed movies for more than 40 years. The first film critic to win a Pulitzer, he wrote movie reviews for the people. Nothing he wrote smelled of film school. His website, along with his books, The Great Movies I, II, and III, remain indispensable guides for anyone trying to figure out what to watch tonight. But Ebert was as informative and entertaining praising a movie as he was tearing it apart. Check out Mental Floss’ recent piece, 22 Movies Roger Ebert Really Hated, which includes the zero-star Rob Schneider flick Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo:

“[The title character] makes a living prostituting himself. How much he charges I’m not sure, but the price is worth it if it keeps him off the streets and out of another movie. Deuce Bigalow is aggressively bad, as if it wants to cause suffering to the audience. The best thing about it is that it runs for only 75 minutes . . . Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks.”

4) “SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY BEARD, WEIRDO!”

The new Old Spice Super Bowl commercial. It’s perfectly bombastic and idiotic—just like every facet of the Super Bowl that won’t involve the actual game itself:

5) THIS OLAN MILLS-LIKE, WINTER-APPROPRIATE PHOTO OF ELFIN BANSHEE, RONNIE JAMES DIO

Thank you, rock photographer Ross Halfin, for sharing with the world this shot of a pensive Ronnie James Rainbow in the Dark Dio: